It's uncontrollable.
All the emotions you give me without trying.
I've been fighting so hard with myself.
Just so I don't fuck up the friendship we have.
Yet my insides continue crying.
All the tears that I'm holding back.
And the words I wish I could tell you just ramble on in my head.
My body craves a substance to numb the pain.
But when I finally get it...
My subconscious betrays me.
Allowing all the tears I've been fighting back to drown me.
The words I wish I could tell you get told.
My rock hard skin turns to mush.
Allowing all of you to come out of me.
I don't know how much more I can handle.
Now I'm scared.
I thought I was stronger.
Yet some how your still able to mess with me.
I love you but...
It's hard to be on a one way road.
I'm soon going to hit a dead end.
I hope the impact is hard and fast just to get over it all.
My heart knows your still in possession.
And doesn't want to hide it.
But as long as I'm in control.
The tears will not fall.
The comments will not hurt me.
The memories may haunt me but it's something I can't let go.
And the words I'm dying to tell you will stay locked up.
Until the next time I lose control.
Or better yet...
When I start meaning something more.
And you love me again.
